May 25, 2004
Blogger's Block
Toby: It couldn't have gone far, right?
Sam: Right.
Toby: Somewhere in this building is our talent.
-The West Wing
I stopped writing here daily about two months ago. First it was a new girl, who (pleasantly) took up all my time, then school, which (unpleasantly) ate my soul. There was a drive across the continent, and then a lapse of internet access, too. Tomorrow I start working, probably nonstop until August.
Excuses, excuses, excuses. I need pie.
I hate when things get bottled up like this; I hate when I can't express myself; I hate not writing. I'm bored, though, of just writing details without thoughts or agendas or subtle meanings or quick wit or other assorted awesomeness. The "what" is the easy part, according to Margaret Atwood; "now try how and why."
How and why, indeed. I'm tired. Of many things. I saw something, too, or read, perhaps, a few days ago that took my breath away, in a not altogether pleasant way, and made me get up and walk away from my computer for a bit. Not the shocking Video, or disturbing imagery. Not the everyday news, or anything, really, of importance. Except to my heart, which is too fragile at times, it seems.
Sometimes even a straw-covered bottle of Chianti can't solve things.
I wish I could be free. I wish I could break out. Oh, and Life, I'm asking for more than just my nose to break out. Thanks anyways.
I think I'm going to use my paper journal more. I'll try to find something to plop here, from time to time, which I hope to mean more frequent than in the past, but then again, I'm not altogether hopeful. Sometimes life sucks like that.
IOU one second chance.
</scattered notes on not blogging much>
Now all I need is someone to unexpectedly throw water on me from time to time.
Posted by Sean at May 25, 2004 11:13 PM