May 29, 2004
LEDs That Turn On and Off and On Again
I know I'm addicted to the Internet. This past week I had dial-up for the first time, well, ever (except when I lived at home, but those were different days). It was hell. AOL Hell, to be exact, but desperate people do desperate things, no? Yes, I know. Too far. And I'm now, officially, a loser.
It's just---
I can't live without it. The sweet taste of binary crack strikes a chord with every part of me. It's done so much for me, given me so much-- how can I turn my back on it? How can I do without it?
This afternoon, I was talking on the phone with Jen when the doorbell rang. I walk over, and catch a glimpse of the UPS guy walking down the stairs. Could it be? I say thanks, though I doubt he heard me (I've been told I talk a lot quieter than I imagine I do), and wonder if my package has arrived. Finally. I open the door, and there it is, the little box, exactly like before.
I shout (I've been told that I shout louder than I imagine I do, too). "I'm sorry, Jen; I have to go. I love you. But. My DSL modem is here."
"You love your modem more than me?"
Don't answer that. "You know that thing Liene does when she's excited? No, the other thing. Yeah. I'll call you back. Um. Later. I love you."
I plug in the various cables and cords, and sit back as the lights blink on and off and on again. I've noticed, on certain cold nights, the lights on the front of modems seem to twinkle a little bit. I like that.
One of the lights isn't on, isn't blinking. It's just there, cold and dark, waiting, I guess, for me to plug a USB cable in. With my first cable modem, I used the USB port-- I didn't have an ethernet card on my desktop at the time-- and it was nice. Really nice. Now I use the ethernet port-- it's faster and cleaner, I think-- and the USB light stays off. I'm happy with ethernet, and wouldn't change, wouldn't go back, but there's something hanging around near the corner of my mind, something that looks at that unilluminated LED, and wishes it would blink once or twice. Jay asked me why I don't just plug in the USB cord, and I didn't have a good answer. I didn't have any answer, really. I just sit around, wishing it would light up, but not willing to do anything about it.
Maybe I'm afraid I won't like the color.
Posted by Sean at May 29, 2004 05:11 PM
Comments
You are such a dork. (But in a good way).
Posted by: Jennifer at May 30, 2004 07:09 AM
led lights are wonderful, but I prefer the subtle glow of the tubes in an amp, like fireflies in the night to the led stars of the sky.
Posted by: celina at May 30, 2004 09:53 PM
Hey, I don't know you but... thanks for linking to my site and linking to the gay marriage video a little bit ago, i appreciate it a lot. This is the first time I've actually taken some time to look around, and, well, I've quite enjoyed reading your blog. You've now, uhh, earned [earned? gained, i guess] yourself a link from my blog. Cheers!
Posted by: Hopeless Romantique at June 1, 2004 02:58 PM
Wait, I have *two* things? What are these things? I am curious! And reading very far back into entries. Oy. SO MUCH GOING ON HERE I'M GOING INSANE.
However, I got your card! And Jen's card [which was the only one that came *on* {or before, for that matter} my birthday]! Thanks so much, Sean. Perhaps I shall send you a little note or something at some point--it's funny; having people that aren't relatives send me cards makes me more appreciative of them on the whole, I think. It's so easy to get used to things that happen without fail every year...
Ramble ramble I need to make a post of my own.
Posted by: Liene at June 1, 2004 05:19 PM